My youngest son is 12 and fears losing to the point that he will not compete. For the past several years he has practiced but not competed (last season he did compete at very few local, small events).
I have received suggestions ranging from (i) make him compete at every event to get over his fear; (ii) make him compete at a select few events; (iii) let him decide if and when he competes; to (v) Do not let him compete in hopes that he will want to.
He will admit he fears the competition because he hates to lose. When he wrestles and is winning, he is having a good time.
Any suggestions?
This is an old thread but I
This is an old thread but I have an 11 year old who just started this year so I think I can relate to the issue.
This is the first contact one on one sport he's been involved with.
He had his first experience in a novice tournament last weekend. He got thrashed in his first match, which they stopped in the second round when it was 16-0. He was shaken up and deflated.
At this point we tried to be supportive but we could not really ease his evident concern. Fortunately for him he won the next two matches and it turns out the first opponent dominated everybody. I thought the overall outcome was very good because he got a taste of defeat and victory, and came away balanced.
In my opinion there is a larger issue involved, which is whether a boy can avoid all manner of competition and navigate through life and into manhood without ever risking defeat? Wrestling might not be the right venue for your son, but I would find some venue you think appropriate to get him used to the notion of risking something. I think most folks agree, part of the character building of sports is learning to handle defeat as well as victory. Personally, I would hesitate to let the conflict avoidance thing go on and on without addressing it. I don't believe in making a child compete (all sorts of potential psychological trouble between father & son lies around that corner), so I would lean toward pulling him out of the program to stop the "When he wrestles and is winning, he is having a good time" which is not balanced by the learning of sportsmanship through competition and potential defeat.